Retirement is a time to relax, but it can also be a time to leave your favorite job and make changes in your daily routine. People will feel nostalgic when they retire. They may also feel demotivated and low-spirited due to a lack of motivation. Are you a friend who just retired and would like to make their day brighter with some funny retirement wishes? You can send them funny retirement messages. Find below some humorous retirement messages and quotes to wish your retiree a joyful and enjoyable retirement.
Funny Retirement Wishes
You used to have to wait until holidays. Now, you can live the rest of your life! Do enjoy it.
Retirement is like graduating- but this time you’ll do a masters in laziness!
Your performance in the past years shows that you are very capable of doing absolutely nothing.
Retirement is exciting for someone who loves to be active all day. Have fun.
What is the best time to retire now that you are rich and fat? You have chosen the right path.
You now have a boss who is more aware of your work ethic, organizational skills, excuses, and other shortcomings. Spouses are the most difficult bosses. Good luck!
It doesn’t really matter if you act like a grumpy retired person or not. People will assume that regardless. You will be able to deal with it.
Congratulations on your retirement. You will now be required to work on an interminable project that will consume all of your time. It’s called “Doing Nothing”.
You have sacrificed your health, family, and friends in order to work harder and make more money. These are the things you will need to have a happy retirement. This is the irony in life.
No matter how many professional certifications, college degrees or skill development courses you have earned, there is still one qualification that you can receive after you retire: Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.
Funny Retirement Messages For Coworkers & Coworker
Enjoy a happy retirement, and don’t take life too seriously. You took everything easy for all those years you worked. You don’t have to change.
You have sacrificed your health all your life to make more money so that you can retire happy. You’ll soon realize how much you will be spending to maintain your health. Congratulations.
Retirement is a time when the body ages, the heart fancies more and the mind gets younger. We wish you all the best in your efforts to manage an elderly body with a young mind, and a fond heart.
People often say that the place won’t be the same without them. They actually mean it will be more annoying.
Are you retiring now? It was the day you came here. You mean, when was the last time you worked?
You’ll be missed if this place were a hell.
Sloths are the most lazy animals, and people who consider them to be such have probably never met you. Buddy, you were meant to retire.
Do not let others’ loving words fool your; I am the only person in the office that is going to miss YOU.
Before I met you, I was excited about retirement. God forbid I get as miserable as you!
Funny Retirement Messages For Husband
This is the only moment when everyone in the office will look up to you. It’s impossible to leave this place.
Ah retirement! The days of daydreaming, sleeping until noon, and all the other things you love.
It’s a jealousy that you will have a weekend every day! Enjoy a happy life!
Congratulations for leaving your job, and for not being fired because you missed so many deadlines!
Who said bosses had to be frightening? I have come to believe that bosses can be scary and even frightening after seeing you!
My retirement is hard for me, not because I’m leaving but because I worry about what happens if the next boss is like you.
Funny Retirement Messages For a Friend
Your retirement has always excited me more than mine, which you can see!
Other than your shouting, glowering and just showing up at work, we will miss you boss.
Now you don’t have to boss us anymore. You can now do the same thing with your grandkids or pets. Bossing is in your blood.
Congratulations, husband! Keep calm and have fun.
Love, happy retirement! If you ever feel the need to be at work, I am available for you as your boss.
You can now go back to your primary job and stop annoying me 24 hours a day.
You are finally retired and no longer have to work. It’s going to be wonderful again!
Thank goodness, I now have a 24/7 assistant at home. My lifelong helper, happy retirement!
Happy retirement, hubby. I am happier in retirement than you. You don’t have to give up on me.
A lazy man like you should retire early, I know! Congratulations on your well-earned leisure.
The old man club is open to you. It’s time for gossip about joint pain, high blood pressure, sugar levels, Et cetera Et cetera.
Funny Retirement Messages
Retirement is the dessert of life. Keep fit and keep your blood sugar low to enjoy life.
Bravo to lazy-bones like you for conquering work-life! You can finally be your true self again.
I wish you a happy retirement. However, with your old fat body, I don’t see any fun coming to you.
Is it possible to believe that all of your Sundays are now marked as Sundays? Enjoy them, and may you always smile. Happy retirement.
Retirement is the only way to realize how much time you spent trying to be mature. Have fun.
It’s interesting to see that people give you retirement gifts that include a clock or a watch, as if to remind you that it is over. Enjoy a retirement that is time-free.
Your retirement life will be like a Friday night. It’s pointless, because you will feel old and dull every day. Happy retirement.
You argued all these years with your managers, juniors and bosses at work. You will be arguing with your grandchildren, grand-children, and spouse after retirement. The rest of your life is the same.
You have been learning how to retire, and now it is time to do it. It is so easy to do that you should not have any problems taking over your new job. Enjoy a happy retirement.
Happy retirement! My advice to you is not to try and say you’re coming back, as you might be surprised by people’s reactions. Nobody will return your office or your parking spot. Nobody misses that much.
Funny Retirement Quotes
“When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.” – Gail Sheehy
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
“Retired people compliment my teeth, then tell me to take care of them. This always makes me think they are trying to steal them.” – Emily Claire Tamblyn
“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R C Sherriff
“Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.” – Author Unknown
“People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns
“The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.” – A. Major
“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret